**Disclaimer**

This post is intended to tell our infertility story in its very truest form. There are parts of this post that are raw and highly emotional. If you are struggling with infertility, this post may hit home with you a bit more than you imagined. If you need someone to listen, please email me at Kristen@theroadtodomestication.com.

PLEASE READ PART 1 (CLICK HERE) AND PART 2 (CLICK HERE) OF THIS SERIES!

After a year of torturing myself, I finally looked at Jerrod and said, with tears rolling down my face, “I give up. I can’t do this anymore. I  guess we’re just the couple who will never have any kids.”

He wrapped his arms around me and said, “That’s okay, baby. We don’t have to have kids to make me happy. As long as I have you, I’m good. We’re good. I just need you to be okay.”

{LaBella Mae Photography}

{Kristin Hope Photography}

Did I mention that my husband is absolutely amazing?!

Journal Entry:

I’ve been trying to hear God so much through all of this. I have felt nothing other than peaceful silence from Him, and it’s been SO heartbreaking. I can’t ever remember Him being quiet when I so desperately needed to hear His voice. I have cried out more times than I can count, and still nothing. 

Continue reading →

**Disclaimer**

This post is intended to tell our infertility story in its very truest form. There are parts of this post that are raw and highly emotional. If you are struggling with infertility, this post may hit home with you a bit more than you imagined. If you need someone to listen, please email me at Kristen@theroadtodomestication.com.

PLEASE READ PART 1 OF THIS SERIES! CLICK HERE!

So. Where was I.

Oh yeah. Twelve months. Infertility. Wohoo.

Journal Entry:

That moment when you stop breathing, because it finally smashes into your consciousness that what you’ve dreamed of ever since you were a little girl will never happen for you. It suddenly and literally smashes, like no other thought has ever done before. As it splinters through the shards of destruction in your head, it literally takes your breath away, and as you try to regain the presence of mind to just breathe, your heart swells with so much sorrow that you can’t move. All you can do is sit frozen in stunned silence, unable to breathe and under the massive weight of the worst pain you have ever felt.

You want to scream. This can’t be happening. How can it be that people who abuse children are allowed to have them and you aren’t? How is it that people “accidentally” get pregnant, and say, “Well, it only takes one time!” I hate when people say that. I want to grab them and shake them and make them understand that that’s not how it works. That they should treasure every single precious child in the entire world. That they should NEVER take them for granted. That they should not take being a parent lightly That they should STOP complaining about all the kid-issues they have and thank God that they don’t have to feel this horrible pain.

Continue reading →

**Disclaimer**

This post is intended to tell our infertility story in its very truest form. There are parts of this post that are raw and highly emotional. If you are struggling with infertility, this post may hit home with you a bit more than you imagined. If you need someone to listen, please email me at Kristen@theroadtodomestication.com.

I have always wanted to be a mom. ALWAYS.

I can remember in Elementary School when I set up my bedroom like a studio apartment, and pretended that I had all the normal elementary school duties, plus those of a wife and mother. I stayed pretty busy that year!

I’ve also never met a baby that didn’t love me, and that I couldn’t get to sleep within just a few minutes. I’ve always been pretty proud of that fact, and couldn’t wait to have a baby of my own.

My plan was always to get married right out of High School and start having babies immediately. As I got older, I realized that was a bit unrealistic for me personally.

I graduated High School and went on to college where I double-majored in Journalism and Public Relations, and threw in a minor in Biblical Studies, too. Right out of school, I began working for a publication company, and within 4 years, I was the Editor in Chief of 13 magazines, the Director of a PR Firm, and had about 50 people working under me. I had “made it” professionally.

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